Feeling "healthy"

Travis and I decided to make a change in our eating habits!! We both feel it is long overdue and necessary to ease into the next "season" of our lives.
We don't like to say "diet" so we are just changing the way we eat...Better choices, and more knowledge of what is going into our bodies. We now (for the last 6 months) shop at Fresh & Easy..their food has no preservatives and most of it is organic...
I'm am officially a humus addict!!

Maybe its part of my control issues, but it really makes me feel better being able to read the labels and understand exactly what the ingredients are...So with that being said, for the last 2 weeks we have elimated sugar and most processed foods from our meals, drinking only diet soda and water, and trying to at least get 30 minutes of movement in per day.

We both feel a whole lot better!!!! Not sluggish or bloated from eating in excess, but its been a little hard limiting our options of food. I am so proud of us though for really sticking to it, yes I am aware its only been 2 weeks, but for us that is really GREAT!! Yay!!

See dad, I'm not crazy...just sugar deprived....!!!!!

Badmington Re-Match!!!

The neighbor kids came over last weekend, and we all played badmington in our back yard...Girls vs Boys...
GIRLS WON!!!!! It was so nice to just play a few games, and see the smiles on their faces, as well as ours!!
Marissa and I made up a little dance to go with our victory!!!!!
Travis and Mason have challenged us to a re-match...

A little investment of our time was all it took, and hey, we even had fun doing it!!
Re-match is on for this weekend, I'll let you know how it goes!!:)

Thank you!

Last week was so hard for me, BUT

Thank you to those of you that prayed for me last week, and called or encouraged me..I'm so thankful for friends that can mourn with me & laugh with me!!
If you read my previous blog, you know that I was hurting....Well, I still hurt however, my spirit is being renewed daily with the hope that God is in control, NOT ME...
This brings me comfort knowing that He has ultimate control, not some test or some pill, or counting method...HE IS IN CONTROL!!!!!
The Lord knows the desires of my heart, and I pray I can continue to leave my desires at His feet, and learn to trust Him with my most intimate thoughts, desires, and struggles...The Lord knows me better than anyone, so I will trust in His perfect timing.

I know in 3 weeks I will have another hard week, but just knowing that others are in this with me and I'm not alone is sometimes just enough to keep going...

Waiting to Exist

Sometimes I just feel like I'm waiting for my life to take on meaning or to have a bigger purpose...Like I'm waiting to Exist...
Let me explain, most of my friends have kids and seeing them pour into their children day after day looks so rewarding, so selfless, so NOT what I have right now.
My hearts desire is to one day be a mother, and pour my life into another. Every month is so hard for me, when I realize I am indeed still without child...
Each month that passes is another failure in my eyes...This desire I have is from the Lord, yet why can't I get pregnant??

I do understand that the Lord has His perfect timing...but I just feel so down and so ignored. I know that no one has an "answer" for me, and I 'm not looking for one, just an opportunity to vent my feelings, and let you know where my heart is at.

I'm sad, I'm not pregnant, and I just feel plain down...
I'm waiting to Exist

Happy Birthday Bec!!!!

There will always be certain people in my life...family, my husband, and Becky!!! Bec, you have been such a good friend to me for the last 15 years, you have blessed me in ways beyond comprehension, you have cried, laughed, snorted and peed your pants right along side me... You have snuck into new construction, and hide from the world with me, you have embraced my strengths, my weaknesses and sharpened my spirit.
Our friendship has not been without turbulence, but we have fought for each other and forgave one another, Our friendship is one worth fighting for

Thank you for always being truthful with me, and for not having all the answers, I respect you & cherish the gift of friendship we possess...
Above all the for mentioned things, Bec, you constantly turn my head to the sky...you remind me of the one that matters most, and the one that loves beyond what we know..You remind me of His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness, His sense of humor!!

I am so blessed to have you in my life...

Yuck

Today is one of those days I wish I could just curl up in a corner & sleep or just let all my tears flow...
Please pray for me today, I want to be able to rely on the Lord and sift through all the feelings inside my head, and discern what is true, right, noble, and of the Lord.

Peace maker vs. Truth teller...

Does this dress make my butt look big?? Peace Maker "no, you look beautiful in whatever you wear"..VS Truth teller "Actually, I think this other dress would work better for your body type"...
Which one are you??
I find myself falling into catagory number 1: I am 70% Peace maker, 30% truth teller
I have no problem being 100% truth with Travis, but sometimes, I would rather keep the "peace" than just be truthful.....
I've come to realize that this is NOT the way to go...By not speaking the truth I am disobeying God...now don't misunderstand me, if the truth is NOT spoken in love, it can easily become just an opinion.

I have a few "truth tellers" in my life and I thank God for them..They keep me accountable (even when I don't realize I need it) and they encourage me...
My desire is to become a full-time Truth teller!!!

Lord, please give me the wisdom to disern what is true and from you, and help me to be a vessell of your truth.

My Photos

I love taking photographs!!!! It is one of my secret passions, I'm just learning so I'm not very good, but I don't do it to be the best, I do it to create something beautiful that my eyes may have missed otherwise

Photos capture moments, moments make up our lives..My dream is to capture peoples lives, their struggles, their victories, and the things that cause me to pause and take notice of my surroundings and all the beauty that exists every day around me.

Photographs don't lie, they show you what is...The honesty they portray draws me to continue to pursue life through the pictures I take.
It's amazing how gorgeous a simple flower can be, or the innocent look on my nephews face as he plays in the yard, the hurt, confusion, elated joy, fear...the emotions that a lens can capture are beyond what our eyes can comprehend, that is why I love photography....
The honesty is refreshing

Privacy...

Its true, right now I am sitting in a coffee shop for the sole purpose of getting some privacy...Does this sound wrong to anyone else??
I am all about neighborly kindness, however is there not a limit to that? We have neighbors that have 2 young kids...a girl that is 9 and a boy that is 6...
Where, at first, we didn't see a problem with chatting with them, letting them help us bring in the groceries...it has gone too far.
We are not able to relax on our couch without them coming over and ringing lthe doorbell, (our dogs hate this) and wanting to just "hang out" with us. Well, we admit we are super cool!!! But we just want to bask in our coolness alone:)
Over the weekend, we counted a total of 6 visits from our neighbor kid friends....3 of which we decided to ignore...This is just too much, the girl has even took to pressing herself against out front window to say "hi", and here is the best part...they get attitudes with us when we tell them they can't come in & we just want to be alone...
Ok, I realize they are kids, and the issue here is probably more with their mom, but how do we turn them away, without making them feel bad..
Deep inside I know the girl needs positive attention (she doesn't get at home) and I can't help but ask myself, "What can I do to help"
Yet the other side of me is well aware that there should be boundaries & those boundaries need to be established soon...

Are we just being selfish & do we have valid points??
There are times we just want to be alone in our home & "let our hair down", Per my last post I'm asking myself "How do I choose to live for God in this situation?"

Choices

Choices....I've been reminded lately how much choices shape who you are and who you become. Every day we are faced with many choices..But I have learned that it all comes down to one choice really:
Am I gonna live for Carey or am I gonna live for God...

Daily I make the choice whom I will serve...even in the small things, I can choose to live for the Lord.
Last night I went to the library to return some books, and I really didn't feel like going in, so I just dropped off the books..I was also feeling a little anxious and didn't really know what to do with myself.(Wednesday nights are my "girl" time)
So then I got the brilliant idea to go shopping, and the little voice inside me starts to put up a little red flag....BUT I wanted to feel that excitement that I get when I have something new.
I drove to the mall, and sat in my car & called to check on my bank account to see if I could spend a little...My heart was saying NO, but I wanted to so bad....BUT in my heart I knew that I didn't "need" to go shopping, and I needed to go home and spend time with Travis. I can't afford it right now anyway, so instead of making a choice that I wanted, I slowly drove back home and spent time with my husband, and made the choice to live for the Lord, not me.

Small battle, but BIG win in my heart for the Lord, each time I choose to do what He wants me to do I grow a little bit..and I feel the next time I am faced with a similar choice, I can draw from that experience..
Not My will, but HIS will be done.

So again, this morning I am faced with choices: new day, new choices, but its the same question:
Am I gonna live for Carey or am I gonna live for God????

UGH!!!!

It took me 45 minutes to drive 13 miles on the 5 last night...ugh I was so frustrated that I just shut down, no talking, no laughing, no loud singing..just driving.
When we arrive at our home @ 6:45.(ugh again) I am quite pleased with myself because I have pre-cooked some chicken wrapped in bacon & all we have to do is make the side dishes & we have dinner!!! WoooHOooo. right????...Not so much.... Yet again I forgot to read the ingredients needed for the risotto. We had used the rest of the olive oil on the "pizza bread" and the risotto called for olive oil to brown the rice, Errrggghhhh Why can't I wrap my head around the simple task of dinner this week??

Later on in the evening Trav made a brilliant observation: I shut down & become silent when I am overwhelmed, where he likes to talk it out & share it with me..
Another thing to add to my list of things to work on:
1. Better meal planning
2. Read directions
3. Share with Travis
4. Ask for help
And that is just this week so far....UGH

Follow the directions!

I had bought all the ingredients for homemade pizza from Fresh & Easy...I was super excited to make it..and of course it was gonna be a garlic,cheese and chicken pizza!
So yesterday I had to leave for work at 12:15..so at 11:30 I realize that I forgot to have lunch, so being as excited about the pizza as I was, I decided to make it.

So, as my husband taught me, I started to read the directions..OH NO!! the first step was to cool at room temp for 20 minutes..I don't have that much time, so I figured I could just skip that step. (thats my twist on reading the directions, just skip the ones you don't like)
So I hurry and throw the pizza in the oven...turns out like cheese bread and it really stuck to the stone I used..

Travis gets home from work, I told him there was left over pizza!! So as we are eating the left overs, I kinda knew something was "different" about it...So Trav asks me "did you put pizza sauce on this?" Oh my gosh!!! I completly forgot to put the sauce on (I'm sure it was NOT in the directions) hahahahaha

Yum Yum, garlic cheese chicken bread!!

Anyone want Chicken..

Another busy weekend!!! It all started off on Friday with me getting off work at 1 then, not feeling very well, went to the grocery store...I love Fresh & Easy!!!
Its my new favorite grocery store...Well, they had a bunch of chicken that they needed to sell so it was marked down more than 50%..you know me I can't pass up a deal like that!
So now for this week we will be eating shredded chicken, baked chicken, chicken wrapped in bacon, fried chicken, and chicken and rice..I think I went a little crazy!
So, after my chicken extravaganza, Travis came home & we just watched movies, he had another tough day at work and had to work overtime...so we just ate chicken, and relaxed!!
Saturday, I had commited to going to a surprise party for one of my friends, but we slept in until 10!!Can you beleive it??? We couldn't, we were supposed to be at the car place for an oil change at 8...oops, so we were running a little late.
Then off to the coffee house for some joe with my man, then the mall, home depot and finially home to shower & get ready for the party at 1:30..

As I getting ready we hear loud yelps coming from a dog across the street..you know how much of a softy I am for dogs...so of course, I tell Travis to run over & help..
The neighbor had run over their dog...So we run over & do what we can, which was nothing because Travis didn't want to get bit...they load the poor dog in the car and off they go..

I finish getting ready and its off to the surprise!!! Travis stayed home & had some much needed "man time" watching baseball...5 hours later I come home to my husband sitting in the exact spot I left him..wearing the exact same clothes. I guess thats what "man time" is for, right???
We had chicken for dinner, and then watched a movie, then off to Dennys for a late night snack...worst service EVER!!

Sunday, we wake up and Travis's softball team had 2 games back to back...so we eat chicken for breakfast, go to 3 hours of softball..they did win both!!! then off to the team BBQ!!
Note to self: whenever I am hosting a BBQ, do NOT sit on the couch & watch tv and say only 3 words.. enough said about that
We ended our busy weekend, by me watering our dead lawn & Trav taking down the 2 wasps nest in the back yard...
Ahhhh, another weekend gone by...