Most of you know that my grandma Betty passed away last November...
The first thing that you see when you walk in my home is a picture of the "love birds" my grandma and her lover boy...I put it there to remind me everyday when I come home what a true love commitment is, and to remind me that I need to spread my love to those around me.. (as she did)
Well, I miss her, this warm weather reminds me of taking off to grandmas house and going to the "clubhouse pool"..enjoying her cooking & her taking care of me all weekend!
Yes, even as an adult, when you went to grandmas house..you were officially excused from ALL work, even making your own lunch..
Gotta love it!! But oh how I miss her smile, her hugs and just her spirit..she found laughter in just about everything! Her laughter would fill the house at family functions, but her laughter also filled my heart, filled me with the desire to laugh with her, and enjoy life as she does!
I have only my memories now, so I will cherish the sound of her voice, her laughter and remember her in my heart...I miss her so much...
It saddens me that I will never be able to call my grandma with the news that I'm pregnant (I'm not) and hear her scream & laugh...
So mom, is you are reading this, I fully expect a SCREAM, LOUD LAUGH and maybe even a few tears of joy...(when the news does happen)
No one will ever take the place of my grandma, but I can take the lessons learned from her and "share" her. She always laughed, always loved, and was always thankful.
Thank you grandma! I love you and miss you everyday
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Changes!!
Life is unstable, I am unstable, but one thing that is consistent is CHANGE...
Change is good, change is necessary, change is HARD, change in inevitable, change is GROWTH!
Some people run FROM change, I am one that runs TO change!! I embrace it! Usually(in some aspects of my life) I LOVE to change my furniture, my hair, my style, and my shoes:), but more serious changes, like life, job or even money.....I freeze up and I'm not sure how to proceed...
Lately I feel the I need to change my perspective. To alter how I perceive things in my life, to view them as God would. At work I struggle to keep a positive attitude and not let the small things bring me down...I focus on MY needs and how they are met or not met..Basically, its all about ME. I'm pretty sure that this isn't what the Lord needs me to focus on. I walk in the door to work and I'm the first thing on my mind;
My heart has been heavy with the desire to CHANGE. My heart desires to go to work with a lite heart & the intention to be an example to those around me & just inject everyone with a dose of Jesus, not by anything I am saying but by my actions alone...this requires a HUGE change.
I am not sure how to alter my thoughts, but I know the more I immerse myself in the word, the more it will ooze out of me:) Scripture is my best defense against the enemy!!!!! So my challenge to you would be to embrace change, immerse yourself in the truth, and inject those around you with love...
Please walk with me through this season of "change" in my heart!!!
Change is good, change is necessary, change is HARD, change in inevitable, change is GROWTH!
Some people run FROM change, I am one that runs TO change!! I embrace it! Usually(in some aspects of my life) I LOVE to change my furniture, my hair, my style, and my shoes:), but more serious changes, like life, job or even money.....I freeze up and I'm not sure how to proceed...
Lately I feel the I need to change my perspective. To alter how I perceive things in my life, to view them as God would. At work I struggle to keep a positive attitude and not let the small things bring me down...I focus on MY needs and how they are met or not met..Basically, its all about ME. I'm pretty sure that this isn't what the Lord needs me to focus on. I walk in the door to work and I'm the first thing on my mind;
My heart has been heavy with the desire to CHANGE. My heart desires to go to work with a lite heart & the intention to be an example to those around me & just inject everyone with a dose of Jesus, not by anything I am saying but by my actions alone...this requires a HUGE change.
I am not sure how to alter my thoughts, but I know the more I immerse myself in the word, the more it will ooze out of me:) Scripture is my best defense against the enemy!!!!! So my challenge to you would be to embrace change, immerse yourself in the truth, and inject those around you with love...
Please walk with me through this season of "change" in my heart!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Birthdays, Egos & Softball!!!
Whew!! What a weekend! We were so busy, but it felt really good all at the same time! It all started on Friday night, we went over to Christopher & Leanne's house for a "game night", Lets just say Christopher and I kicked butt!!:)
Saturday, was Christopher's birthday, so Leanne was throwing him a surprise party!! Best EVER party thrown in 24 hours!!!!! So Saturday was spent, running around planning & getting & decorating!! The kind of stuff that I really love, and it fuels me...
So Christopher was completely surprised!! Yay!, the decorations are looking amazing, everyone is having a GREAT time (including me.)
One of the downfalls of having the gift of hospitality, is that you are always making sure everything is going smooth, everyone is happy, candles are all lite..that kind of stuff..Well I spotted 2 candles that needed to be lite, so I rush inside to grab the lighter, and unknown to me the screen was shut...BAM I totally ran in to the screen...and if that weren't bad enough, I couldn't stop myself from falling on it..so I fell on the screen through the door and bent the frame & crushed my EGO...!!!!!
Now if I was a VERY secure person, this would be soooooo funny, and I would Laugh at myself and make a funny joke...but being the person I am right now...I was mortified....Leanne came in to check on me, she was so sweet..she laughed but also was compassionate, Travis was just concerned that I had hurt myself, and I was in tears...
Tanya "gave me a little time", then checked up on me..
The sad but funny part was, that I wished I could just laugh it off & continue to party!!!!..but I'm very thankful for friends that are concerned for me, even if it was through their laughter..
I'm totally over it now, and have been able to laugh at it!! Thank you Becky for the advice:)...but it did teach me to NOT take myself so seriously, and just laugh more, fall less, and relax always!!
Whew.....our weekend isn't over yet, Travis is now on a softball team, he had his first game over the weekend!! He did really good, so Yay for my sweetie!!!
Saturday, was Christopher's birthday, so Leanne was throwing him a surprise party!! Best EVER party thrown in 24 hours!!!!! So Saturday was spent, running around planning & getting & decorating!! The kind of stuff that I really love, and it fuels me...
So Christopher was completely surprised!! Yay!, the decorations are looking amazing, everyone is having a GREAT time (including me.)
One of the downfalls of having the gift of hospitality, is that you are always making sure everything is going smooth, everyone is happy, candles are all lite..that kind of stuff..Well I spotted 2 candles that needed to be lite, so I rush inside to grab the lighter, and unknown to me the screen was shut...BAM I totally ran in to the screen...and if that weren't bad enough, I couldn't stop myself from falling on it..so I fell on the screen through the door and bent the frame & crushed my EGO...!!!!!
Now if I was a VERY secure person, this would be soooooo funny, and I would Laugh at myself and make a funny joke...but being the person I am right now...I was mortified....Leanne came in to check on me, she was so sweet..she laughed but also was compassionate, Travis was just concerned that I had hurt myself, and I was in tears...
Tanya "gave me a little time", then checked up on me..
The sad but funny part was, that I wished I could just laugh it off & continue to party!!!!..but I'm very thankful for friends that are concerned for me, even if it was through their laughter..
I'm totally over it now, and have been able to laugh at it!! Thank you Becky for the advice:)...but it did teach me to NOT take myself so seriously, and just laugh more, fall less, and relax always!!
Whew.....our weekend isn't over yet, Travis is now on a softball team, he had his first game over the weekend!! He did really good, so Yay for my sweetie!!!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Mothers Day!!
Another Mothers day has past, and yet again I am unable to celebrate with the masses. If you know me at all, you know the desire of my heart is to be a mother...
I have wanted this as long as I can remember...
This Mothers day was harder for me than others past, I'm not sure why but my heart was so heavy with desire and disappointment. I found myself admiring my mom for all her hard work for us kids, and being jealous of the "mom club".
I kept praying and asking God why...why not me, why can everyone else be blessed with this gift??
I have no answer yet, but I do know that Gods timing is certainly NOT mine. His ways are better than mine, and I know HE has His hand on my life..He knows the desires of my heart, and He also knows how much I can handle.
He (God) also knows how much my heart hurts when I see a pregnant woman, and the loss I feel. He will also lead me through this too.
I am encouraged because God is all-knowing!
I will continue to pray, I will continue to seek the Lord, and I will continue to "try" :) (heheheh), please pray me through this sensitive time in my life.
I will soon be going to the Doctors to start seeking "other options" to help
I have wanted this as long as I can remember...
This Mothers day was harder for me than others past, I'm not sure why but my heart was so heavy with desire and disappointment. I found myself admiring my mom for all her hard work for us kids, and being jealous of the "mom club".
I kept praying and asking God why...why not me, why can everyone else be blessed with this gift??
I have no answer yet, but I do know that Gods timing is certainly NOT mine. His ways are better than mine, and I know HE has His hand on my life..He knows the desires of my heart, and He also knows how much I can handle.
He (God) also knows how much my heart hurts when I see a pregnant woman, and the loss I feel. He will also lead me through this too.
I am encouraged because God is all-knowing!
I will continue to pray, I will continue to seek the Lord, and I will continue to "try" :) (heheheh), please pray me through this sensitive time in my life.
I will soon be going to the Doctors to start seeking "other options" to help
Refreshed!!
Most of you know that I had a week off from work! I'm back to work this week and feeling so very refreshed...it was a much needed break..
I didn't do anything too special,but just to NOT have to drive into work and be "on" all week.
I'm very fortunate to have 3 weeks vacation per year,so I appreciate my boss and my job..
I realized, while on vacation, that I need structure in my life..I like to have a schedule & lists are my friends!:)
Without a schedule I feel overwhelmed at very small tasks, day to day. For example, if I get home from work and there is laundry to be done, I just get it done...but then complain because I am doing laundry every night..(crazy I know)
But Travis helped me realize that if I have a routine, even with house work, I will relax more knowing there is a "time" for me to do laundry.
So last night Travis and I sat down and scheduled our week out. We included housework, time with friends, time with family, exercise, date night, and YES even our alone time.
It was so satisfying to know that when I walk in the door at night, I don't have to get everything done in one night, just check the schedule & do whats on it ONLY...
I'm so excited to see this in practice, because I really do work better on a schedule...How about you??
Do you like to schedule or do you just fly by the seat of your pants??
I would love to hear your thoughts!
I didn't do anything too special,but just to NOT have to drive into work and be "on" all week.
I'm very fortunate to have 3 weeks vacation per year,so I appreciate my boss and my job..
I realized, while on vacation, that I need structure in my life..I like to have a schedule & lists are my friends!:)
Without a schedule I feel overwhelmed at very small tasks, day to day. For example, if I get home from work and there is laundry to be done, I just get it done...but then complain because I am doing laundry every night..(crazy I know)
But Travis helped me realize that if I have a routine, even with house work, I will relax more knowing there is a "time" for me to do laundry.
So last night Travis and I sat down and scheduled our week out. We included housework, time with friends, time with family, exercise, date night, and YES even our alone time.
It was so satisfying to know that when I walk in the door at night, I don't have to get everything done in one night, just check the schedule & do whats on it ONLY...
I'm so excited to see this in practice, because I really do work better on a schedule...How about you??
Do you like to schedule or do you just fly by the seat of your pants??
I would love to hear your thoughts!
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